We have become the "rat race" we used to joke about, although it’s not funny anymore. Our lives are so overwhelmingly busy that we feel out of balance. It’s impossible to read about, think about, or respond to all that comes our way each and every day. So we go faster and faster, take on more and more and feel like we are spinning out of control. I call it dizzybusy. The reality is: No matter how hard we try, we can’t work our way out of this problem and we can’t organize our way out of this problem. The worst part of the dizzybusy lifestyle is that it leaves little time to connect as a family and create the loving, safe haven we all need at home.
It’s an unhealthy habit because it creates enormous stress in our lives. Since the busy-ness also distracts us from doing the things that really matter, we feel guilty on top of stressed-out. 90% of the population claims they feel overwhelmed by the lack of time today. Medical researchers estimate that close to 90% of illness and disease is stress-related. The leading six causes of death in the U.S., which include heart disease, cancer, accidents and suicide, are all linked to stress. We don’t feel good and it’s not good for us.
We are the voice for family that says: “YES we can do it.” YES, we can have a simple, joyful, meaningful family life - despite the challenges we face in today’s dizzybusy world. YES, we can be successful at work and be great parents too. YES, we can have it all - without driving ourselves crazy or neglecting our health. And, it’s easier than we think…because it’s not about doing more. It’s about doing less, and doing the right things.
Most of us spend time and money doing things no one will remember and we miss opportunities to do little things that make a big difference. Once Upon a Family was created to bring simple solutions to busy families. We all know what we want: loving connections, strong family values and a legacy we can pass onto future generations, that is based on those connections and values. But we’re so dizzybusy we don’t have time to stop and think about what we’re doing. We don’t know where to start. Once Upon A Family gives people so much more than inspiration. We give them the three things they need to succeed: a simple guide, practical tools and the ongoing support. It’s our formula for success.
The simple secret to a great family life is hidden in the seemingly insignificant, yet amazingly powerful rituals and traditions that bring us together again and again. Aunts, uncles and cousins gathered around the Thanksgiving table eating Grandma Rose’s pumpkin pie, everyone laying like sardines on a quilt to watch the Fourth of July fireworks, reading by flashlight on summer camping trips. Or mom’s blueberry pancakes every Sunday morning. Our fondest childhood memories revolve around these simple family rituals and traditions because they provide comfort and predictability in a unpredictable world. They connect us, create a sense of belonging, and give us opportunities to teach values and pass on life stories.
The happyhome is the result of what I have learned from 29 years raising my own five children, ten years studying the literature and research on family life and seven years observing how Once Upon a Family products have impacted families nationwide. People are feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. They don’t feel good, but they’re not even sure what their problem is. I know what the problem is and I feel compelled to help people see how much better and easier their lives could be.
A happyhome is more than a place to live. It’s the quality of connection we have with others that makes us feel "at home" no matter where we are. It's the comfort of knowing that we belong somewhere and we matter to someone. When we send our children out into the world with a strong sense of family, values and self, they are able to make good choices based on those internalized values and they are naturally drawn back to that loving, safe haven we created for them at home. What we build inside ourselves is what makes us strong, not what we build around us. A happyhome is like a family vaccination for the modern day world, because the happyhome habits protect our loved ones from the inside out and they protect them when we are not there.
The happyhome habits are simple, fun things we can do once a day, once a week, once a month, once a year, and once in a while – that give our families what they need: loving connections, strong values, and happy holiday memories. They also help families counterbalance the stress of life. They are based on five scientifically proven “protective factors” that families need to be strong and happy in today’s world. They are simple, fun activities that make a big impact on family life and represent five different ways we build connections with our loved ones and weave the values that make us strong into our family life. They are dinner conversations, family fun nights, treasured traditions, the family story and unexpected gifts of love. It’s easier than we think to find balance in this dizzybusy world.
America is experiencing an epidemic of frantic frazzled families, over-committed and disconnected, too busy and too stressed out to fully enjoy life or each other. The facts on stress and work/life balance are staggering. $300 billion, or $7,500 per employee, is spent annually in the U.S. on stress-related compensation claims, reduced productivity, absenteeism, health insurance, medical expenses and employee turnover. Alcohol, drug abuse, depression and suicide rates go up every year on college campuses. Studies show that our children are feeling stressed, isolated and pessimistic about life. Given the overwhelmed, disconnected and unhealthy state families are in - and the amount of time, energy and money businesses lose due to stress-related issues - we need to do everything we can to help families build happyhomes. We can’t afford not to… because, in the end, all that really matters are the people we love and the things we believe.
People assume that “family” happens naturally because it used to when our parents were raising us. But our lives today have become so dizzybusy that we have little time left at the end of the day for the simple, good things like sitting down to dinner together and talking. We need to be intentional about our family life …because happyhomes don’t just happen.
Think of it like floating down the river of life. We have two choices. We can drift along, like most families do, and end up wherever the river takes us. Or we can pick up a paddle and steer our loved ones to where we want to go. The problem with drifting is that most families are disappointed in the end. Our children are spread out across the country. They’re not as close as we’d hoped they would be and it’s a struggle to get them to come together for family holidays. Some relationships are strained, with resentments, and unresolved conflicts that make it even harder to enjoy each other’s company. We rarely see and hardly know our grandchildren and can’t understand why they have not learned the values of respect and responsibility. Our day-to-day reality is far from the fairy-tale image of the family life we all have in our minds.
People are always looking for ways to make their lives better and easier. And there is plenty of advice available. But it’s not about what, so much as how. I believe that talk doesn’t create change. All the books, speeches, articles, and therapy haven’t made much of a dent in the continuing decline of family, values, marriage, and general well-being. No matter how much we want something or how important we think it is, we are creatures of habit and we go back to our daily lives. It takes so much more than inspiration to create change.
When we present our products, some people instantly fall in love with the whole concept because they can “see” the difference it can make. Others say “Why do I need the products, can’t I do it myself? My answer is always “Yes, you can, but you won’t.” The tools are visual reminders of what we decide is important. They bring our good intentions to life. The happyhome book is a simple two-hour read (which is all anyone has time for these days) with powerful statistics and personal stories. But, most importantly, both the book and the workshop come with 5 practical tools that any family can use right away. We deliver the entire package with the happyhome Book, the happyhome Starter Kit and the Five-in-One Family Fun Program. We deliver success.
We aren’t interested in selling products that collect dust in someone’s closet or getting people excited about doing something they forget two days later. That’s a waste of our time and their money. We are interested in helping families build happyhomes because we see people longing for connection and we know how much the happyhome habits can help them. Inspiration is just the beginning. The tools make it easy to get going, but the most critical part of the formula for success is the ongoing support. Participating in the Five-in-One Family Fun Program and sharing that experience with friends, who can encourage and support each other, is a powerful motivator. It’s like the jogging partner who is waiting at your door at 6 am that makes you get up and do what you wanted to dol.
Working parents desperately need a simple guide and practical tools to help them do more for their family in less time. They are extremely busy, away from the family all day, have little time to engage with their children when they get home and they feel guilty about it. We are exited about bringing our happyhome workshops to Corporate America with trained facilitators who are not only passionate about building happyhomes but have experienced the impact happyhome habits have made in their own family life. We bring our formula for success to work with the 3 step” happy-at-home equals happy-at-work” program.” We start with a two or three hour happyhome workshop, which includes the happyhome book and the happyhome 5-piece Starter Kit, then we follow-up with a 6-week happyhome Challenge, rewarding every family that completes the Challenge with a set of happyhome Helpers and last, but not least, we ensure continued support with membership to the Five In One Family Fun program, that gives busy parents the simple tools they need to be successful at work AND successful at home.
Not really. Although I have many years of experience under my belt and have learned a lot from families everywhere, I am not the perfect parent nor do I think I have raised perfect kids. I believe we all bumble along as parents, and learn as we go. Some of the traditions and ideas come from my own experiences but a lot comes from collecting the wisdom of generations of families that have figured out what worked for them and generously shared their “piece of the puzzle” with the world. They are the experts. The mission at Once Upon A Family has always been to put this collective wisdom into a form that is simple and practical for families everywhere to use. Probably the most important thing I have come to understand over the years is that “family doesn’t need to be perfect to be good.” In fact, the richness of family life comes from its own imperfections and, by trying to make it perfect, we miss out on the goodness.”
We work hard at being a parent for many years, never knowing for sure how it will all turn out. Weaving the happyhome habits into family life is like a “no regrets insurance policy.” Everyone is a beneficiary. I love the way my five children have become such close friends. They are in constant contact and seek each other out. The ultimate joy for me was last spring when I was planning our Once Upon A Family VIP sales trip to Jamaica with my 10-yr-old twins and my 28-yr-old daughter (who has worked with me for the last 7 years). My two older sons (ages 20 and 24) came to me and asked if they could pay their own way (shock!!) and come with us. When we were there, I was talking to a couple of Sales Consultants and I glance across the pool to see all five of my children sitting together and laughing on the other side. It doesn’t get better than that.
My vision for the future is simple. We are building happyhomes across America because happyhomes don’t just happen. People have no idea how much better and easier their lives can be. We do. We have started a cultural revolution that is redefining family life in the same way that knowledge about nutrition and exercise have changed how we live today. Operation happyhome is a campaign that was created to give everyone an opportunity to share the information, inspiration and products with others. People love to share the traditions and activities that have brought their families closer and we share those stories and ideas, as well as the products they inspire, with the world. It’s all about families helping families.
Many parents are afraid to be parents. They try too hard to be a friend and worry too much about making their children happy all the time. Instead, they need to focus on being a parent and teaching their offspring to be responsible, honest, respectful and caring human beings who can go out into the world and create their own success and happiness. The children end up on the losing end of this parenting style. Kids don’t need friends, they need parents who aren’t afraid to stand up for what’s important and insist on what they believe in.
Families are having to cut back everywhere, and many parents feel bad about what they can no longer give their loved ones. The happyhome message reassures people that we can give our families “everything they need” even when we are short on money and short on time. In fact, for many of us the economic crisis can be a blessing in disguise. I call it the “upside of a downslide.”
When is comes to family, less is more. The less we give and do for our children, the better people they become. When kids help out with chores around the house and earn an allowance, they learn responsibility, the value of money and appreciation for their parent’s hard work. Families may have to give up the luxury of eating out, but dinner conversations about the difficulties of life, making choices and what really matters, are priceless. Instead of Friday night at the movies, we can start a weekly “Family Fun Night.” It costs nothing and creates a sense of belonging and family togetherness. The trip to the Caribbean resort may no longer be possible but an annual camping trip will prove to be the most bonding and memorable vacation a family can take. Perhaps there’s no money for the tenth anniversary diamond bracelet, but husbands can wow their wives instead with love notes and other simple gestures of love.
Letter
From Lorle
Interview with Lorle
Workshops
Coaching/Consulting
Quotes & Callouts
|
