Little Things are the Big Things
Most of us spend time and money doing things no one will remember…

After thirty years of raising my own five children, ten years studying the literature and research on family life, and seven years designing products to help families connect, I have come to one very important conclusion:

Most of us spend time and money doing things no one will remember and we miss the opportunities to do little things that make all the difference.

My good friend Karen recently shared a story with me about one of “those things.” Her daughter Rebecca decided to have her sixth birthday party at home. She would have been happy with friends and a cake, but Karen’s creative side kicked in, and she went to work on what would be the best ever Knights and Dragons birthday party for ten children: homemade tunics complete with a coat of arms, cardboard swords covered in aluminum foil, crowns (each guest got to decorate one upon arrival), a “Pin the Sword on the Dragon” game and an unbelievable homemade cake in the shape of a castle!

The party started with the King (Rebecca’s dad) calling on his knights to help him find a dragon causing havoc on the royal grounds. Karen had spread clues throughout the yard, with a final clue leading the knights to the dragon, a piñata, which the knights proceeded to slay. They each reaped the rewards from within. It was quite the party!

After everyone left and Rebecca was getting to her new gifts, Karen felt the need for a pat on the back. She was sure Rebecca had loved everything but couldn’t resist asking, “Rebecca, what was your favorite part of the party?” Without hesitation Rebecca replied, “I loved it when my friends sang Happy Birthday to me.”

“I had to laugh at the simplicity of her answer compared to my weeks of creative craziness,” Karen said. “It made perfect sense. Singing Happy Birthday is one of our favorite family traditions. We sing it in English, Spanish, French and make up silly verses, too… on everyone’s birthday. Since that day, we focus completely on the birthday cake and the Happy Birthday song.”

Most of us don’t realize that kids, like adults, look forward to a birthday party simply because it’s their special day. The food, décor and activities are really there more to treat and entertain the guests. The Happy Birthday song is the one moment at a party when the birthday person is in the limelight — and the focus of family and friends. The little things really are the big things. All those “other things” may impress people temporarily, but unless there is some emotional connection, the memory is very soon forgotten. People don’t remember what you say or what you do nearly as much as how you make them feel.

Think of this in the context of our daily lives. If we are running around stressed-out and frantic, trying to do too much, constantly barking at our loved ones... “I can’t believe you forgot that... now we have to go back... we’re going to be late... when are you ever going to start being responsible for your own things?” — that’s what our loved ones will remember. How we made them feel. Everything else becomes a blur.

For most of us, life has become too fast, too busy, too stressful. We’re feeling dizzybusy and there’s little time left at the end of the day to connect as a family and create the loving, safe haven we all need at home. We know what we want: loving connections, strong family values and happy holiday memories. But our day-to-day reality of family life is often far from that fairy-tale image we have in our minds. So, what can we do to compensate for our dizzybusy lifestyles? How can we find, and model for our children, that balance we all desperately need? How do we stay focused on what’s important?

It's easier than we think to say NO to today’s dizzybusy lifestyle and get back to the basics of a simple, joyful, meaningful life. It’s not about doing more. It’s about doing less and doing the right things. The happyhome habits are based on the five “protective factors” decades of research has shown families need to be strong, connected and happy. Visit the happyhome club online and join the thousands of families who are experiencing the powerful difference these simple habits can make in their lives. Take part in the life-changing happyhome challenge and earn free products that will enrich your family life at home...because happyhomes don’t just happen.

Lorle Campos, CEO/Founder of Once Upon a Family, is the author of happyhome: a family's guide to finding balance in a dizzybusy world. Take part in the happyhome Challenge to receive free tools and products to enrich your family life at home.