Holiday Harmony
Creating Happy Holiday Memories

The moment I really understood the power of holiday traditions was when my daughter Candace was home for the holidays during her first year in college. Every year I made creative gift baskets for neighbors, close friends and my staff at work. Candace, who is very creative and loves tasks like this, always helped me. We bought unique ornaments, wrapped my famous pumpkin gingerbread loaves with vintage fabric and unique ribbons, made nametags out of tree shaped sugar cookies, and generally had fun. Since we made about forty baskets, it was quite a project.

This year, however, I had five-month-old twins, and I told Candace, “The baskets aren’t happening this year. It’s too much with the twins. I can’t do it.” What she said next shocked me, especially since she was never the stay-home-and-do-family-things kind of girl. She was more like the I-can’t-wait-to-get-out-of the-house-and-party kind of girl. “Mom,” she said, “we have to do the baskets. It wouldn’t be Christmas if we didn’t do the baskets. I’ll do them for you.” Wow! That’s when I understood what an important role traditions play in the life of any family.

Ask a thousand people to tell you about their favorite childhood memory and most of them will talk about family holidays, vacations, traditions and rituals — events they repeated over and over. We look forward to things we know we will enjoy because we have enjoyed them before. Children and adults alike cling to traditions because they create predictability in an unpredictable world. They give us a sense of comfort and security. And they simplify our lives... the same meals, the same décor, the same activities. How easy is that? traditions are the building blocks of strong families

Family researchers agree that traditions are powerful as they weave many protective factors into family life. In fact, therapists often use family rituals and traditions as homework assignments for troubled families to help strengthen ties and build connections. Research shows that children and teens in families that celebrate traditions:

• achieve higher levels academically
• are better adjusted emotionally and socially
• exhibit higher self-esteem and positive identity
• learn social competence and self-control
• feel a sense of security, stability and peace
• develop stronger relationships as adults

Perhaps the most important benefit in our dizzybusy lives is that family rituals and traditions seem to ease the stress of daily living. I want to say that again: family rituals and traditions ease the stress of daily living!

Meg Cox, author of The Heart of the Family, wanted to create a family life rich in tradition. She spent three years researching and interviewing families to find out what they do. Meg collected hundreds of heartwarming stories. The Christmas Eve bingo game is a wonderful example of how a simple, fun tradition pulls a family together and keeps them coming back, year after year.

Whenever possible, the Brock family of Oregon travel back to Iowa to participate in their family’s annual Christmas bingo game. “The game has been going on for more than forty years, and each year some fifty adults and kids gather to play again, with each family contributing presents for the winners. Some of the gifts are nice: homemade fudge or attractive picture frames. But a few have been recycled for decades, including a pair of enormous red silk panties: ‘My husband and I once hid them in a test tube inserted into a freshly baked loaf of bread,’ says Barb. Everybody roars hysterically when the panties reappear each year.”

Even if we whined and complained that mom was making us participate in that silly tradition again (like the Christmas Eve bingo game), we grow up to remember those moments as if they were the best. Traditions are consistent celebrations of family life that show us that we belong to a group, and we are an important part of that group.

It's easier than we think to get back to the basics of a simple, joyful, meaningful life. It’s not about doing more. It’s about doing less and doing the right things. The happyhome habits are based on the five “protective factors” decades of research has shown families need to be strong, connected and happy. Visit the happyhome club online and join the thousands of families who are experiencing the powerful difference these simple habits can make in their lives. Take part in the life-changing happyhome challenge and earn free products that will enrich your family life at home...because happyhomes don’t just happen.

Lorle Campos, CEO/Founder of Once Upon a Family, is the author of happyhome: a family's guide to finding balance in a dizzybusy world. Take part in the happyhome Challenge to receive free tools and products to enrich your family life at home.