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Dizzybusy!
It was Friday afternoon and I had just picked up my twins from school. I was maneuvering out of the parking lot when Dylan announced: "Mom, my PE teacher told me to tell you to teach me how to tie my shoes. He's tired of tying them for me."
Dylan was seven, certainly old enough to be tying his own shoes. I spent the next few minutes having the all too familiar “BAD MOM” conversation in my head. Why hadn’t I noticed that he couldn't tie his shoes? His twin brother Travis somehow figured it out by himself.
As soon as we got home, I sat down to help. Dylan got the bunny-ear-loop thing right away, but he was having trouble with the second step of securing the loop between his thumb and forefinger. I was so desperate to send him back to school on Monday looking like he’d been doing this for years, that I resorted to "BAD MOM" tactics to get the job done.
"Push the bunny ear into the bottom crack," I said — and that did it. He laughed and laughed and the rest was easy. Excited to master this new skill, he practiced all weekend. Sunday night he came to me with a big smile. "Mom, I am sooo happy I finally learned how to tie my shoes. I was afraid I'd never learn and that when I grow up, my girlfriend would have to do it for me."
While his comment made me smile, it also made me think. What am I doing that is so important I don’t have time to teach my little boy how to tie his shoes? What are we all doing that seems so important we don’t have time for the things that really are important?
At first, the fast pace seems so exciting: easy-to-access information, endless opportunities, and all those cool technological advances. Now, we’re afraid if we slow down, we’ll miss the boat. We work harder and harder, go faster and faster, but still feel as if we haven’t accomplished anything worthwhile. We are having a hard time unplugging because racing about has become a way of life and an unhealthy habit. The dizzybusy habit. It’s unhealthy because it distracts us and prevents us from doing the things that really matter. We feel guilty, stressed and out of balance. But it’s not our fault. It’s the world we live.
There are 376,542 books at Amazon.com on stress management, but only 84,632 books on parenting. That’s how serious the problem is, and that’s how concerned we are. Everyone is struggling with how to cope with today’s hectic pace. Even the most disciplined, organized and productive people are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out.
The worst part is how stress affects our health. A little stress can be a good thing. It keeps us going and helps us develop coping strategies. But a lot of stress, or a little stress over a long period of time (dizzybusy), results in all types of physical, mental and emotional problems, including headaches, depression, eating disorders, cancer, gastrointestinal problems, and substance abuse. Stress impairs our ability to focus and think clearly, resulting in poor judgment, accidents and errors. We don’t feel good, and it’s not good for us.
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What adds to our stress is NOT doing the things we think we should be doing. We all know what we want: loving connections, strong family values and happy holiday memories. But our day-to-day reality is often far from that fairy-tale image we have in our minds. So, what can we do to compensate for our dizzybusy lifestyles? How can we find, and model for our children, that balance we so desperately need? How do we stay focused on what's important?
Many of us still assume that "family" happens naturally because it used to when our parents were raising us. But our lives today have become so overwhelmingly busy that the simple, good things - like sitting down to dinner together and talking - are getting lost in the shuffle.If we want a great family life, enriched by loving connections, strong values and happy holiday memories, we need to be intentional about it.
Say NO to today’s dizzybusy lifestyle and get back to the basics of a simple, joyful, meaningful life. It’s not about doing more. It’s about doing less and doing the right things. The happyhome habits are based on the five “protective factors” decades of research has shown families need to be strong, connected and happy. Visit the happyhome club online and join the thousands of families who are experiencing the powerful difference these simple habits can make in their lives. Take part in the life-changing happyhome challenge and earn free products that will enrich your family life at home...because happyhomes don’t just happen.
Lorle Campos, CEO/Founder of Once Upon a Family, is the author of happyhome: a family's guide to finding balance in a dizzybusy world. Take part in the happyhome Challenge to receive free tools and products to enrich your family life at home. |
