Seven Keys to Strong Family Ties
What Do Strong, Caring, Happy Families Do to Stay Connected?

1. They create a sense of belonging by making family a priority. They plan time for family activities and events and they respect that time. Family members are expected to participate; they are made to feel they are an important part of the family unit. The family dinner and family fun night are two wonderful rituals that will definitely create a sense of belonging.

Give family members a voice by having everyone put their own idea of “family fun” in the “family fun box” to choose from once a week: monopoly, bowling, a tea party, or building legos. Hang a family memory board in a central place in your home and place photos of all the fun things you do together.

2. They show love and appreciation for each other in many ways. They learn to be comfortable communicating their affection and give each other “gifts of love” often. No one, no matter how old they are, ever outgrows the need to feel loved and appreciated.

Leave “love notes” hidden around the house, or place them in lunch boxes and coffee cups. Write a letter to your children or grandchild on their birthdays to save as a twenty-first birthday gift. Invite your daughter on a “Date with Dad” by slipping an invitation under her pillow.

3. They have a strong sense of family identity, rich in traditions. The rituals and traditions they create, and pass on, help them feel unique as a family and connected to each other. The sillier, and more unusual, the better. “This is who we are… this is how we do things… this is how we celebrate holidays, birthdays, etc.

Take a photo of each holiday tradition you celebrate throughout the year: the kids dressed in their new Christmas pajamas in front of the Christmas tree, the whole gang at the Thanksgiving table holding thankful leaves, Dad standing back-to-back with each child on Father’s Day, Mom in the Queen’s chair being pampered on Mother’s Day and the green mess left by the leprechauns on March 17th.

4. They develop a family history through stories, keepsakes, etc They are interested in their heritage and often create family trees, interview older family members, and treasure keepsakes from distant relatives. They keep journals and write down the wonderful “family stories” that get passed down through the generations.

Building a family tree is a wonderful project for grandparents and grandchildren to do together as they share stories of distant relatives and who looks like who? Children are fascinated by their heritage and grandparents are proud to pass on valuable details only they know.

5. They stay close to family and friends that live far away. They don’t let distance and time erode their bonds. They find ways to stay connected and enrich their relationships. They will make sacrifices, like driving through snowstorms, to get together and support each other, especially in hard times.

Kids can send “love by the month” envelopes to grandma (or cousins) full of tidbits of love and daily family life: photos, artwork, notes, magazine articles, and recipes. Put small family photos on the calendar for birthdays throughout the year as a reminder to call and sing happy birthday.

6. They honor and respect a set of family values. They know what those family values are, talk about them often, and help each other make important decisions with those values in mind. Many of their family traditions revolve around the values they want to teach their children.

Dinner time is the best time to talk about important life lessons. Keep a “candle of honor” nearby to set on the table and light for good deeds and hard-earned victories. Rewarding kids with antique keys for courage, honesty and responsibility is another way to recognize the behavior you want to instill.

7. They celebrate life together…often.  They get together with family and friends and find reasons to celebrate life every month. They all participate and help in the planning and preparation.  They enjoy each other’s company and make every event a celebration. 

Enjoy the fun of planning for and reminiscing over holidays and important special occasions (birthdays, graduations, new babies, etc.), but also get in the habit of creating fun ways to celebrate the little moments in life: a lost tooth, a new job,  passing the driver’s license test.

Get back to the basics of a simple, joyful, meaningful life. It’s not about doing more. It’s about doing less and doing the right things. The happyhome habits are based on the five “protective factors” decades of research has shown families need to be strong, connected and happy. Visit the happyhome club online and join the thousands of families who are experiencing the powerful difference these simple habits can make in their lives.

Lorle Campos, CEO/Founder of Once Upon a Family, is the author of happyhome: a family's guide to finding balance in a dizzybusy world. Take part in the happyhome Challenge to receive free tools and products to enrich your family life at home.